Friday, April 19, 2013

Grief and Relief

 Just recently a student in our ministry lost their life. When dealing with a loss there is not a right or wrong response. As I looked at this student’s Facebook page there were many kind words about this student. There were also some others that didn’t know how to respond and they said stuff like “I didn’t know you but…” or “I wish I would have said something.” Then the polar opposite side of the spectrum some people get angry and don't understand. None of those responses were wrong. The problem comes when someone acts out inappropriately then not reconciling after going to far.

The creators of Facebook have made a network for people to voice how they are feeling. Now I know that some people share stuff on Facebook that are or can be inappropriate. Now in this case it is a great way for those who are morning to heal.

The cycle of grief (see link below to know the cycle) doesn’t discriminate for people that knew the person or not. So when someone posts about how they feel about the situation or they were close. To them they felt close. It isn’t our place to know how they feel or how well they knew the person. So when you see someone that is hurting from a loss be gracious to them. Support them where they are at in the grief process and identifying it will help you know how to respond better. If you don’t know how to help, the best way to help them is to listen, continue to be there for them and pray with them.

Avoid saying things like, "I know how you feel." or any cliche sayings that you have heard on a movie or read in a book. Also don't avoid them, and try to make them feel better. Grief is a natural process that if not gone through properly will result in more hurt and deep wounds. Being present and being available is a huge blessing for that person.You don't have to have the answers but you can point them to God. The creator of the universe wants to hear from them. In whatever stage they are in.

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